The 7 habits of highly effective people by Stephen Covey

The seven habits are divided into two groups of three which focus on:

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1. "Private Victory" (personal change)

• Be Proactive

• Begin with the end in mind

• Put First thing first

1. "Public Victory" (interacting with others)

• Think win / win

• Seek first to understand then to be understood

• Synergize

The last habit "Sharpen the Saw", focuses on sustaining and continuing development of above habits.

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Habit 1: Be Proactive

Is about being the captain of your life, in other words, you are responsible for both yourself and your life. You can't keep blaming everything on others. i.e. government, parents, colleagues at work, circumstances, conditions.

Is about being proactive and not reactive

• Reactive: reacting to the past rather than anticipating the future.

• Proactive: acting before a situation becomes a source of confrontation or crisis.

Is s about placing your energy on the things you can control not on the things you cannot control.

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Habit 2: Begin with the end in mind

It is based on imagination, the ability to envision in your mind what you cannot at present see with your eyes. It is based on the principle that all things are created twice.

• Mental creation (First)

• Physical creation (Second)

The physical creation always follows the mental creation.

One of the best ways to incorporate Habit 2 into your life is to develop a Personal Mission Statement. It focuses on what you want to be and do. It is your plan for success. It reaffirms who you are, puts your goals in focus, and moves your ideas into the real world. Your mission statement makes you the leader of your own life. You create your own destiny and secure the future you envision.

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Habit 3: Put First Things First

It is about being clear about your priorities and acting on them.Many people unconsciously fall into the trap of getting caught up in non-important things. They neglect the larger life priorities until it becomes too late to act on them.

the best way is breakdown your priorities into 4 quadrants, by urgency and importance as per below table

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Time Management Matrix: The 4 Quadrants

Everything you do in life can be classified by it’s urgency (Urgent or Not Urgent) and by it’s importance (Important or Not Important). This creates the matrix illustrated above with four quadrants:

• Important and Urgent – Crises and Emergencies

• Important but Not Urgent – Prevention, Planning, and Improvement

• Not Important but Urgent – Interruptions and Busy Work

• Not Important and Not Urgent – Time Wasters

We often spend our lives focused on the Urgent things instead of the Important things. In business as in life it is extremely important to ask yourself: “Am I doing this because it is truly important or am I doing this because it is urgent?”

Important and urgent things should not be ignored: Crises and emergencies. However, the more time you can spend on the non-urgent but important things (prevention, planning, improvement) the less crises and emergencies you will experience.

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Habit 4: Think Win-Win

This is the habit of creating effective interpersonal leadership. In order to manage our relationships with others properly we need to think “Win/Win”. This isn’t just a technique that you can apply to every day situations and relationships, it’s a philosophy – a whole way of thinking and being.

This philosophy is based on 6 paradigms of interaction. Basically, every time we interact with others it fits into one of these categories:

• Win/Win – Mutually beneficial and co-operative. All parties come out on top

• Win/Lose – “If I win, you lose.” This is very authoritarian in style and can be seen as overly competitive. It’ a win at all costs mentality which is usually instilled from childhood.

• Lose/Win – “If I lose, you win.” This is usually the attitude of people who want to keep the peace and not upset the applecart. The problem with

• Lose/Win – is that whilst you may feel happy your friend/colleague etc. has come out on top, this can however lead to an eventual breakdown in relationships as resentment builds up.

• Lose/Lose – This happens when two Win/Lose people clash, it leads to a stubborn impasse as they try to beat each other at all costs.

• Win – Don’t really want anyone to lose they just want everyone to come out on top. It’s an “every man for himself” mentality.

• Win/WIn or No Deal – This is where, if a mutually beneficial outcome cannot be reached, then you know it’s okay to walk away with no hard feelings.

The most appropriate model depends on the situation. When relationships are paramount, Win/Win is the only viable alternative. In a competitive situation where building a relationship isn't important, Win/Lose may be appropriate. There are five dimensions of the Win/Win model:

1. Character

2. Relationships

3. Agreements

4. Supportive Systems

5. Processes

Win-win sees life as a cooperative arena, not a competitive one. Win-win is a frame of mind and heart that constantly seeks mutual benefit in all human interactions. Win-win means agreements or solutions are mutually beneficial and satisfying. We both get to eat the pie, and it tastes pretty darn good!

A person or organization that approaches conflicts with a win-win attitude possesses three vital character traits:

1. Integrity: sticking with your true feelings, values, and commitments

2. Maturity: expressing your ideas and feelings with courage and consideration for the ideas and feelings of others

3. Abundance Mentality: believing there is plenty for everyone

Many people think in terms of either/or: either you're nice or you're tough. Win-win requires that you be both. It is a balancing act between courage and consideration. To go for win-win, you not only have to be empathic, but you also have to be confident. You not only have to be considerate and sensitive, you also have to be brave. To do that--to achieve that balance between courage and consideration--is the essence of real maturity and is fundamental to win-win.

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Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then To Be Understood

Here’s some of what Stephen Covey has to say:

“Communication is the most important skill in life. You spend years learning how to read and write, and years learning how to speak. But what about listening? What training have you had that enables you to listen so you really, deeply understand another human being? Probably none, right?

Habit 5 says that we must seek first to understand, then to be understood. In order to seek to understand, we must learn to listen.

The First part of Habit 5 is "Seek First to Understand, ....

To listen empathically requires a fundamental paradigm shift. We typically seek first to be understood. Most people listen with the intent to reply, not to understand. At any given moment, they’re either speaking or preparing to speak.

After all, Covey points out, communication experts estimate that:

• 10% of our communication is represented by our words

• 30% is represented by our sounds

• 60% is represented by our body language

Because you so often listen autobiographically, you tend to respond in one of four ways:

1. Evaluating:You judge and then either agree or disagree.

2. Probing:You ask questions from your own frame of reference.

3. Advising:You give counsel, advice, and solutions to problems.

4. Interpreting:You analyze others’ motives and behaviors based on your own experiences.

But if we replace these types of response with empathic listening, we see dramatic results in improved communication. It takes time to make this shift, but it doesn’t take nearly as long to practice empathic listening as it does to back up and correct misunderstandings, or to live with unexpressed and unresolved problems only to have them surface later on.

The second part of Habit 5 is “... then to be understood.”

This is equally critical in achieving Win-Win solutions.When we’re able to present our ideas clearly, and in the context of a deep understanding of the other person’s needs and concerns, we significantly increase the credibility of your ideas.

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Habit 6: Synergize

Synergize. Aim to work effectively within a team and create synergy with others. In this way, you will be able to achieve goals no one person could have achieved alone. Synergy is a wonderful thing. Therefore, the book highlights synergy as the highest activity of life.

Also synergy means "two heads are better than one." Synergize is the habit of creative cooperation. It is teamwork, open-mindedness, and the adventure of finding new solutions to old problems.

Valuing differences is what really drives synergy. Do you truly value the mental, emotional, and psychological differences among people? Or do you wish everyone would just agree with you so you could all get along? Many people mistake uniformity for unity; sameness for oneness. One word--boring! Differences should be seen as strengths, not weaknesses. They add zest to life.

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Habit 7: Sharpen the Saw

Sharpen the Saw means preserving and enhancing the greatest asset you have--you. It means having a balanced program for self-renewal in the four areas of your life: physical, social/emotional, mental, and spiritual. Here are some examples of activities:

• Physical:Beneficial eating, exercising, and resting

• Social/Emotional:Making social and meaningful connections with others

• Mental:Learning, reading, writing, and teaching

• Spiritual:Spending time in nature, expanding spiritual self through meditation, music, art, prayer, or service

As you renew yourself in each of the four areas, you create growth and change in your life. Sharpen the Saw keeps you fresh so you can continue to practice the other six habits. You increase your capacity to produce and handle the challenges around you. Without this renewal, the body becomes weak, the mind mechanical, the emotions raw, the spirit insensitive, and the person selfish. Not a pretty picture, is it?

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